Independence Day
Have you ever seen the movie Father of the Bride? When the Steve Martin-Kimberly Williams version came out I was almost 10 years old. I remember my dad saying something like "You won't necessarily get a wedding like THAT when you get married." I laughed it off at the time. I was 10. Who cares about marriage at 10? But now that I'm something like 4 days and some odd hours away from getting married I found myself thinking about that movie today as we wandered around JJ's apartment trying to make all our stuff fit into it. If you've seen the movie there's a scene about three-quarters of the way through when Annie (played by Kimberly Williams, now Kimberly Williams-Paisley) is playing basketball in her driveway in the middle of the night. It's the night before her wedding and she can't sleep so she's shooting baskets. Her dad, played by Steve Martin, can't sleep either and comes outside. They talk about how she has lived in that house her whole life and at the end Annie says, "I mean, I've lived here my whole life and I feel like I'm supposed to turn in my key tomorrow." Then, it starts to snow and Annie makes a comment about how it's going to end up costing her father more money and he responds, "No ... I'm just thinking ... I'll remember this moment for the rest of my life." I thought about that scene today as I was stashing my stuff, which has all been moved over to JJ's. In some ways, that scene is totally and completely not relevant to me at all. When I left for Washington University in St. Louis at 17 I was, as far as I concerned, one step closer to shaking the dust of good ol' Wichita off my feet. When I get accepted here to UNC Chapel Hill, I never thought twice about the distance or that I wouldn't be home in Kansas for summers. When JJ and I started talking about getting married I never worried about how I would feel to "turn in my key" to my house in Wichita. And now here I am less than 5 days from my wedding and I still don't feel that way. My brother, on the other hand, loves, absolutely adores, the house we grew up in. Awhile back my parents talked about selling when we both would have moved out and it would really become too much house for them. My brother begged them not to. And so far, they haven't. But I guess it's not so much the house that's gotten me thinking. As far back as I can remember I've always wanted my independence, cut the cord, slash the apron strings if you will. Finally I have my chance. And I am taking this chance not with total jubliation and joy and the feeling of freedom like I always thought I would. Not at all. But I am also not taking this chance and thinking about turning back. It's different than that. I'm taking this chance thinking to myself that not only am I ready, but I also have something backing me up that I didn't know I'd have when I first saw that movie at 10: my faith. One of the names of God is Jehovah-Jireh, or God will provide. It's different taking this independence day knowing Jehovah-Jireh. It is with great conviction, confidence, faith and anticipation that I take it. And am looking forward to it. With 4 days to go before the wedding I can't help but wonder what changes and what stays the same after Saturday. But I know this much: the Lord will provide. And that's really all I need to know.