angela's blog

When I was a kid and did something wrong (fairly rare), I got spanked. Guess what? It worked. I don't see anything wrong with it and I think people who call it abuse are silly. Further, I hate it when I see a kid or even a pet misbehaving and then see the parent or owner say "No, please don't do that" in some quaint, non-authoritative voice that obviously does not enforce any behavior change in the child or pet. The results are obvious if you take my parent's dog (Hank) as an example. Hank *obeys* my father. Yet he runs all over my mother and sister, and it's because they don't command any authority. And it's not like my father is mean to him or something, my dad is probably Hank's favorite. Okay, enough comparing children and animals. =)

Right ... and I don't disagree. I command authority over my dog and usually she's pretty good. If she has to go out it's different because that's her only way of telling us where we'll notice. Spanking, in my opinion, if you don't use another object (stick, ruler, belt, whatever)is a parent's decision. I won't ever use it but if you slap a kid on the rear with your hand the likelihood you're going to actually HURT the child is pretty small.

I was spanked and I lived through it. It smarts but I suspect it worked. Definitely in favor of trying other things as well, i.e. time out and whatnot, but sometimes a good smack on the bottom does the trick when nothing else will.

My parents never once spanked me. I remember slaps on the hands when either I or my brother tried to put our hands in places we shouldn't (hot water, outlets, etc). We were pretty well-behaved, but when we did things wrong, we got things taken away from us or we were punished by not being allowed to do things we enjoyed. You know, the whole stare at the corner thing.

I think this will be one of the things I'll take as it comes in the future. I can't really say what I'd want to do with children who aren't here yet in situations I can't even fathom yet. I think the bottom line is I would never want to lay a hand on my child in a way that could hurt them, and I would never want them to be hit when they could remember it when they get older. Since that's a fine line, I'd rather err on the side of not doing it. But, like I said, it'll have to be taken as it comes.

I knew a person who had been beat by his father as a child, and he is a terrible, miserable, abusive man. I know that is an extreme, but I would never, ever want to contribute to something like that.

Carlos Mencia has made some remarkable observations of parenting. My favorite is how dads and moms teach differently.

For example, a child asks his mom why he can't touch to stove. She tells him that it is hot. He asks, "What is hot?" She proceeds to try to explain hot to her child.

Now, same scenario, but it's dad: a child asks his dad why he can't touch to stove. He tells him that it is hot. He asks, "What is hot?" Dad thinks for a second, then says, "Touch the stove..."

I joke, as Carlos did, but it does illustrate a certain amount of difference between the sexes. For some children (usually boys), words don't always cut it and spanking is a necessary evil for the secondary goods of knowledge, education and safety. I don't agree with using objects, but I do agree with a certain level of fear abuot being spanked. After just a few, the threat, which was often presented to me with just a look, was enough to make me straighten up as a kid... actually, probably even as an adult. :)

Now, as an adult, I see my direct reports, some of whom I can tell you, have no concept of discipline. They don't straighten up with the threat of discipline, some don't even after the discipline actually happens. Me? I walk the line because I don't even want the threat.